Mating Rituals A Romance in OneShots: Part I
by Sinister Scribe
Summary: New series of one-shots kiddies! Inspired by CSIClue, heavily influenced by my sick and twisted sense of humour and rated as such. No smut. Sorry.


And It All Falls Down

**Okies, this is the first in a series of oneshots that I'm planning on doing. They will be in any order that i dictate and they'll all be related but I am going to try and make them fairly stand-alone-ish. There may be as little as two of these and as many as...five. **

**Righty, first off I would like to point out that the plot for this is NOT MINE. It belongs to…I think they write under the name of CSIClue on this site and the fic was called 'Under' and it was a CSI fic. **

**It was mostly dialogue but it was so bloody funny that I just HAD to do my own huddy version and post it up for y'all. i like to think i made it my own in my own little way...even if some of it is directly paraphrased from hers though. **

**Ah well.**

**No smut in this one, funny sexual situation though, but no actual hot sweaty sex. **

**Sorry, but that comes later. **

**Review me!!**

**Part 1: Conversation**

"Cuddy?"

Cuddy's manicured brows drew together and she whimpered in the back of her throat as her body unhappily reported in that things were not exactly in the comfort section of her sensory range. She appeared to be crushed under something heavy, firm and warm while suffering several aches and bruises to various places on her personage.

"Cuddy, can you hear me? You gotta wake up." Something jostled her sore shoulder and she groaned this time. "Cuddy?"

"Ooooooooowwww." Her throat was raw and she coughed several times at the dust lodged there.

"Oh, you're awake. Good."

"What happened?" Cuddy asked and if she hadn't been so absorbed in getting her eyelids to cooperate with the whole open-and-shut thing she might have taken more notice of the tone of relief husking in her ear. As it was, she was much more interested in where she was and why. Opening her eyes took precedent. Her lashes fluttered and she finally succeeded in focusing on the face not three inches from her own. She twitched violently backwards and succeeded in rapping her skull sharply on the floorboards again with a clunk. Stars burst before her eyes and she swore harshly under her breath.

"Such language." House admonished, a taint of relief still colouring his words. "The roof fell in on us. Personally, I blame your screeching but you never can trust these old buildings." House mused and shifted against her. Cuddy stilled and her eyes flew to his, only to find him looking anywhere but at her and a faint ruddy tint high on his cheekbones. "At least we're not dead or maimed…any more so than usual anyway."

"Speak for yourself, you weigh a tonne." Cuddy grunted and tried to shift to a more comfortable position only finding there was nowhere to shift too. Taking in her surroundings revealed a huge hole in the ceiling and what appeared to be a half-rotten beam splayed over House's back. The other debris must have broken its fall because Cuddy was certain that thing hitting him without something to slow it down would have killed him. "Why are you on top of me anyway?" She demanded. Her head was beginning to ache something fierce.

"Finally saw my chance to jump you." He muttered against her ear and she turned her head to glare at him. "Fine, the misguided notion that I should keep you from harm's way." He snapped. "That or I decided that if I was going down I might as well go down on some decent padding."

"Fine." Cuddy rolled her eyes and tried to move her right wrist out from under her back and winced.

"You okay? You've got a graze on your temple and a small gash on your cheek." His eyes roved over her face and Cuddy mentally reviewed what was complaining and what wasn't.

"Sore wrist, my ribs are hurt, ankle's possibly swollen, my head needs an ice pack and something's jabbing against my… " Cuddy trailed off as something registered against her hip. "House?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me that's your cane."

Silence met her question for a long moment and the heat on House's cheeks upgraded to a faint rosy colour. "That's my cane." He growled after a choked moment.

"Your _wooden_ cane, House?"

"Ah…well, it's all wood after a while, isn't it?"

"House!"

"I can't help it!" He defended himself and at her incredulous look he continued as logically as he was able considering his –ahem- position. "It's a natural reaction to adrenaline and stress for men." He coughed once more and looked away from her, missing the sudden grin that she was trying to repress. She wiped it from her face, replacing it with an expression of the most sincere innocence. "That and friction." He grumbled.

"Fric-tion?" Her eyebrow arched and she drew the word out wickedly.

"Stop wriggling." He told her tightly.

"Kind of have to, if we both lie on my wrist much longer it's going to break." She shimmied her shoulder a little more and thought she heard a faint groan at her ear. "You LIKE me, House." She told him smugly in a parody of her words to him a few weeks ago.

"I would do this for anyone. I repeat; stop. Wriggling."

"That cannot be all you." She muttered to herself and finally managed to get her arm out from under her body. "And I doubt you'd do that for Foreman." She smirked at him.

"No, I've got parts of Chase and Wilson down there too!" He snarled at her. "Of course it's all me!"

"You really think that Chase would have that much to offer?" She asked him conversationally, mainly to see him squirm. She may have been probably concussed but this chance to lord it over him for loss of control was appealing to her.

"Doctor Cuddy, if the board could hear you now…how are we going to get out of here?" He seemed to think about that a moment. "Cell phone?" He looked down at her expectantly.

"Where would I keep it in this outfit?" Cuddy demanded of him and then slowly smiled. "Wow, you REALLY like me."

"Programmed response to close proximity to the fun-bags. We need to call somebody and let them know where we are, because as comfy as you are, cuddles, I'd rather not be stuck under this beam for a prolonged period of time." He tried to dismiss it and attempted to move his arm. Debris shifted and Cuddy squeaked in alarm when it set of a chain reaction that had more plaster crumbling from the ever gaping hole in the roof over them.

"Bad. Move." She told him and he cleared his throat.

"Relax, we're still not dead."

"Yet! We're lying here under God knows how many pounds of rubble and you're treating this like just another day in the clinic!" She huffed at him and blew a stray curl out of her face. She noted his eyes tracking the movement and the corresponding twitch against her lower belly. "And make that thing go down."

"Fine, I'll get right on that. My cell is in my pocket. You're going to have to reach in and get it."

"Tell me, does that line usually work for you?"

"Only on sex-starved Deans of Medicine." He smirked at her. "Cuddy, get the cell and we can get out of here." He tempted her.

"Sure, as soon as I get both eyes to focus on the same thing we'll be rolling."

"You hit your head?" Again that same tinge of worry.

"Yeah." Her fingers crawled down his flank and House fought the urge to arch to the contact. She arrived at his belt and fumbled blindly for the seam of his pocket.

"You were unconscious too." He hummed, trying to distract himself from the woman splayed underneath him intent on reaching into his pants. He slid his arm under the dark mass of her hair and cushioned her from the floor, the smile she gave him was highlighted by a slight flush on her throat.

"Yeah, so concussion is a possibility, I know." Her hand wriggled inside the denim and she quested for his cell. She looked at the ceiling, or lack thereof to try and focus on her sense of touch more fully. "Okay, vicodin bottle…keys and…is that your wallet?"

"No."

"Oh…_oh_!" She giggled then, a throaty sound. "Are you sure your cell's in there?"

"Guh! Stop, okay, must have fallen out somewhere." He winced at the tightening of the denim in his pants and thought cool thoughts. "The ducklings know where I am and somebody's bound to miss you after a while."

"Faaaaantastic." She drawled.

"I'm sensing some hostility."

"You were the one that was stupid enough to come out to a derelict building that your patient _might_ have been in during the past six months and start hobbling around." She snapped at him, her head cushioned in his elbow and he glared down at her.

"I'm not the one who followed me out here and started screeching about health and safety. For all you know the vibrations could have brought the beam down in sympathy, which, for the record I did not saw in half before coming down here."

She sighed gustily against the skin of his throat and he tried to get his thoughts, and blood flow, out of his pants. It was all well and good to fantasise about her being caught under him but this wasn't quite the scenario that he'd had in mind.

"Fine, we're both to blame and I'm just…"

"Scared?" He supplied disbelievingly.

"Well, I was going to say horny but that fits too."

"You really did hit your head pretty hard, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I really did." Her eyes fluttered and a surge of cold panic flared in House.

"Cuddy, stay awake. Keep talking to me." He wasn't letting her even think unconscious thoughts until he'd checked her over. "Anything else hurt?"

"My ass has gone numb." Her eyes were still closed but at least she was talking.

"Not much I can do about that now, cuddles, but I promise a massage later if you stay awake. Keep talking to me."

"What shall we talk about?" Her eyes opened hazily and she shifted under him. He gritted his teeth.

"Anything you want."

"Why hasn't your hard-on gone down?"

"Ooookkaaayy, anything but that." He looked around the building. "The reason I was down here is that some old buildings…"

"It's bigger."

"…have moulds in them and it is not."

"Trust me, I'm in a position to know. Definitely bigger."

"Nothing more than friction and pressure. Like…geology." He cleared his throat and strove for something lofty in his tone. "I wouldn't have to explain this to you if you were a proper doctor."

"Uh-_huh."_

"It's nothing."

"Oh sure, nearly nine inches of nothing as far as I can tell. You can't do anything subtly, can you?"

"I don't have to listen to this." He grumbled.

"Uh-huh, what you going to do? Get up and hobble away like you always do?" She rolled her hips and had him swearing. "You _like _me, House. You _like_ lying on top of me and you _like_ having only a few layers of clothing separating us. What's wrong with admitting that?"

"Me? Run away?" He snorted. "Aside from the obvious physical impairment, _I'm _not the one who heads for the horizon every time she realises what she wants doesn't fall into her perfect little idea of life, the universe and everything."

"When have I ever run from anything?" She demanded of him in return.

"You run from me all the time." He glared at her, practically nose to nose with her. "With a clickity-clack of those do-me heels of yours."

"Oh please, quit flattering yourself. Why would I run from you?"

"Because you always run away from what you need."

"And what, exactly, do you think I need, House?"

He looked down at her and a slow –conniving- smile spread over his mouth. Cuddy blinked up at him warily. Then gasped when his hips ground down against hers. Her lips parted and her spine arched involuntarily.

"_That's _what you need." His voice was hot chocolate with whisky in her ear and she fought a whimper.

"Stop it." She tried to make her voice sound strong. Forceful. In charge. When he was crushed on top of her, his cock branding her and smelling so delicious and male it was very difficult to sound in charge of anything.

Another slow roll of his pelvis sliding against hers.

"House, don't I…" She whimpered when he twisted his hips the other way. He wriggled his hips, sliding between her thighs as much as he could, given his state of entrapment.

"Sounding pretty desperate there, cuddles. It feels pretty good on my side, I don't think I want to stop." The beam was digging into his middle back and the bottom of his shoulder blades, he had multiple aches and pains having taken the brunt of the blow and his thigh throbbed but it was easy to ignore in favour of the sweet sensation of rubbing up against Cuddy. He settled into a slow erogenous rhythm and smirked when her pupils dilated and her tongue flickered over her lower lip. He wanted to follow the movement with his own tongue but held off from doing so in favour of taunting her a little longer. "Does it feel good to you?"

"Uh…I…stop moving. I can't think when you…mmmm."

"Admit it, you want me." He growled into her ear and she moaned and twisted under him.

"No, I…stop moving!"

"So talk to me. Tell me you want me." He demanded.

"I want you! There, happy now?"

He smirked and thrust against her slowly once more. "Ecstatic." He ducked his head and rasped his beard over the sensitive skin of her throat. Her breathing hitched. "I want you, but I think that's fairly obvious, hmm? Difference is; I'm willing to do something about it. I'm tired of waiting for you to get it. I'm tired of you pushing it away and pretending it isn't there. So, now that I have you, quite literally, trapped I have a few things to say." His lips moved against her ear and she shivered with each rumbling syllable. Her entire body was on fire for him. His cock still hot and hard in between her thighs. She felt something welling in her chest. Something harder than lust. Something a lot like resolution.

"Fine. Say what you have to say because, you're not the only one that has a bone to pick." She was panting, her words broken by her harsh breathing, but she said them anyway.

"Fine."

"Fine."

They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. He throbbed against her and she could feel the answering pulse thrumming throughout her body.

"Okay, I want you. Under me, over me, against the wall, in my bed, wherever and however you care to name. Embarrassed yet?"

"Uuh…little flattered…and a little confused."

For a moment, something uncertain crossed his face before he squashed it.

"I know that there are…better guys out there for you." He said after a long moment. "I know they might be hunkier, nicer, politer and maybe even able to walk across a room unaided but they won't be able to do the things to you that I can. They won't be able to give you what you need."

"And what's that?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. The heat he so easily generated within her making it difficult to focus and, of course, the blow to the head not helping much either.

"You need someone who can consume your attention, you need somebody to drag you away from that stupid hospital and make you be a woman for at least five minutes out of the day."

"Five minutes all you'll need?" She swallowed hard past the sudden lump in her throat. He wasn't supposed to make her feel like this. Like he cared for her and wanted something for her rather than something from her. She had never known him to be selfless…or even this polite.

"Cuddy, right now, five _seconds_ is all I need." He growled against her. "But what you do need most of all is for someone to stand up to you. Everyone else buys that dominatrix bullshit personality but I know better."

"You do?" She'd meant the question to be scathing but it had come out somewhere between pleading and breathy.

"Oh yeah, I'm totally thinking that taking you over my knee is an excellent idea for that little 'you like me' stunt earlier."

"One which you reciprocated." She defended herself, face flushing.

"True, but the kicker is; I think you would _like_ giving up control. I think you'd like being taken charge of. Being under me. Being _mine_." He angled his arm, the one that cushioned her head, so that she had to look him in the eye. "And, let's be honest, what I think is nearly always right."

"Bullshit." She uttered before she could take it back. It didn't matter that certain parts of her were extremely enamoured with the idea of having House be in charge, of dominating her. That the fight between them for who would be on top would finally be resolved in such a hot, sweaty and delicious manner shot little thrills through her…but she'd be damned if she'd admit it to him.

"Everybody lies." He freed his other hand enough to tuck a stray curl of her hair back and behind her ear. He was practically nuzzling noses with her and found himself perfectly content to be that close to her.

"The big question is; are you?"

Their eyes locked, there wasn't room for them to do anything else, and the moment drew itself out long and taut. House considered how to answer, how to convince her and what he would finally do once she was convinced.

"House!"

House turned as much as he was able and craned his neck, never wanting to strangle somebody for rescuing him before. Wilson picked his way daintily around the rubble and blinked when he saw Cuddy trapped underneath his friend's body.

"And Cuddy." The oncologist blinked. "Are you hurt?"

"Pinned but not hurt seriously. Cuddy might have a concussion though and I need oxygen, landed face first in the fun-bags. Took me a while to get out again." House lamented and tried not to show his distaste for Wilson's interruption.

Wilson rolled his eyes and crouched down beside them, carefully inspecting the beam. He spoke hurriedly but calmly on his cell phone and looked both of his friends over to make sure that nothing important was crushed that they couldn't feel. All in all though, it just looked to be the wooden beam and plasterboard that had fallen over House pinning him on top of Cuddy. Wilson couldn't imagine that Cuddy was very pleased at that development. He finished the call and clipped his phone shut. "The fire crew are already on their way. It'll just be a few minutes and we'll have you out of here." He smiled at them both and, if House had been in possession of a free limb he might have slapped the cheerfully grinning Wilson.

"Cuddy, you okay? Can you hear me?"

"I can hear you fine, Wilson." She spoke softly. "You don't have any Tylenol do you?"

While Wilson rummaged in his pockets, House spoke into her ear once more.

"Don't think you've escaped this conversation, cuddles. There's more than one way to get you exactly where I want you."

He saw her swallow hard at that and felt something very like satisfaction curling deep in his chest.


End file.
